Breathe in deeply.

You are alive. You are a bright radiant star made up of stars.

Breathe in. Not only through your nose, but through your pores, your hands, your feet, your crown.

You are alive. Your three parts sing in harmony and that sweet melody is you.

Breathe in. Breathe in the grounding presence of the Mother below and the bright radiance of the Mother above.

... You are alive. You are love.

You are.

Breathe.

Good morning my friends.

Breathe in.

The Love of the Goddess is all around you. It is in the chair you sit on. It is in the words you read. It is in the air around you.

So breathe it in.

One piece of lore we have in our line of Feri is that Melek Taus is our collective Godsouls. I see it going farther than that. We are the microcosm of the Divine Twins made one within the macrocosm that i...s Him.

Another piece of lore we say, is that Melek Taus is our beautiful Lord of the Painted Fan when tempered under the hand of the Goddess. When out of her presence he is terrible.

I see this played out in the microcosm that is us. Will of the Witch alone is not enough, it leaves us flawed and damaged. We need to be tempered by the Love of the Goddess to reach our full potential.

So again...breathe it in.

Breathe.

Feeling blessed this morning. I look around and I see the love and support of a wonderful family.

Yesterday was another story. I got caught up in the pain of the things I don't have. We all have these things. A lot of the time it involves money, but maybe it's not that for you. But the point is there is always *something*. I want to go to Pantheacon and can't afford it. You may want some...one who doesn't return your advances. You may want a new job but can't find it. The what isn't the point, the awareness of the phenomenon is. There will always be something you don't have that Talker will grab onto and say "That! If I could just have that I would be happy."

I hate to be the party pooper, but no it won't.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't move and act to obtain things we desire, but when the want turns to pain over the lack of that we have a problem.

But here is the bright side. We all do it. It's part of the human condition. So don't beat yourself up over it, just notice it and move on.

Breathe. Return to center. See the blessings you have all around you.

I am blessed by my family and the beautiful land around me. What are you blessed by?

Names and Patterns

Coyote has always been an appropriate name for me. My good friend has a tendency to say "Silly Coyote, tricking yourself again." I have a lifelong pattern of leaping before I look.

This time it was following along with a deity during trance to do a very heavy duty rite involving demon work. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't stop and notice that perhaps this was not the best moment ...in my linear timeline to engage in such emotion heavy work. Hell, I didn't even stop to think that it would be emotion heavy work. I was too in the moment.

Now, every time this has happened I have always come out the other side the better for the experience, but I seem to manifest these experiences for myself in extremely painful ways.

The purpose of this posting is twofold. First, when working with close, trusted deity, yes they have your best interest at heart, but they don't quite grok our linear existence. "You're here, I'm here, let's do this thing." They tend not to think about external consequence, so when deity presents you with work, it is still your judgement as to when to do it.

Second, you must know your weaknesses as well as your strengths and hold them without judgement. A warrior rushing to battle needs to know where their armor is at its weakest, but also needs to not keep stabbing themselves there. Shoving our pain into the darkness and covering it over is how complexes get strengthened; how Demons come to life. You must own and love your shadow, because that is still you. That is still God.

Just because we fall does not make us any less worthy. It simply makes us human.

Yes, it has been a LONG time since this page was updated.  At the recommendation of a close friend I am branching out across multiple social media sites to get my messages across.  There will be a lot of cross posting between here and the Facebook page, but I just wanted everyone to know we are alive again here!

What's in a word?

How do you define Justice? It is a word we use and hear rather frequently, but when you try to put a hard definition on it, it seems that there really isn't any consensus as to what we think it means. What about Beauty? We can say I find this beautiful, but can we really put that into a hard boxed in definition? We try of course, Beauty could be defined as “Something one finds esthetically ple...asing,” but those words seem so flat, hardly representative of something as glorious as true Beauty.

In Shinto, the word for a spirit is kami, but it doesn't just end there. It is also the word for the feeling of awe one gets when perceiving the beauty of nature. I don't mean to say that these are two separate things that share the same label, but that in Shinto these things are inseparable. But again, it is just a word, and a hard definition cannot contain the entirety of what the word is supposed to label.

What do we say when we say The Goddess? Or Godherself? Or even God? What comes to mind? Perhaps those three words have very different emotional charges for your Fetch, perhaps not.

Is Justice something real? Something tangible that we can put our finger on and say “There, that is Justice”? Would every other person agree with what you are pointing at? And yet, there is the word, the feeling, the idea, that such a thing as Justice exists.

Such is the way with Spirit, with our connection to the Divine. We may use shared language, words like God, or Spirits, or The Way, but the assumption that we mean the same thing when we say those words is false. So when people start to invalidate the experience of others because it deviates from their Way, it shows a lack of understanding of the Immensity of Spirit. The Way that can be named is not Absolute, for no name is Absolute enough to hold The Way.

God is a feeling. God is an experience. God is not a tradition. It is not a label. Traditions and labels are vehicles, not the end result.

God just IS, and who am I to tell you that your IS isn't the Way?

I guess the ultimate question is, Who am I?

THAT'S the work, that's the path, that's the goal. Discovery of God through our experiences. Those experiences come in every shape and size. When we have our attention spend on condemning the experiences of others, that is attention taken away from your own experience, your own relationship with God.

“Abstain from all interferences with other wills. ‘Beware lest any force another, King against King!’ (The love and war in the previous injunctions are of the nature of sport, where one respects, and learns from the opponent, but never interferes with him, outside the actual game.) To seek to dominate or influence another is to seek to deform or destroy him; and he is a necessary part of one’s own Universe, that is, of one’s self.”
-Crowley from “Duty”

Starting over

Take a deep breath.  Deep into your belly, then exhale twice as long as you inhaled.


A simple reminder, but possibly the most important thing we do.  Not just breathing (although that is important too of course), but the deep, cleansing breath.  The most important thing, yet the easiest thing to forget.  So what do you do when you forget?  Start over.  How do you start over?  See line 1, rinse and repeat.  


We all fall away from our practice from time to time.  I fall away quite a bit more than I like, but that is part of my journey, something I still need to figure out, and that's okay.  Last night, I remembered to start over.  It's the exact same technique you use when your mind drifts during a meditation session, accept the drift, notice it without judgement, and begin again.  But there was a huge key in that technique which is incredibly difficult, which is the noticing without judgement.  


I think it's in our nature to berate ourselves for our perceived failures.  I have touched on this concept before.  We need to have compassion for ourselves.  We need to not judge ourselves based on our perception of others.  For me, it is very easy to read the blog posts of some long time Feri initiates and feel discouraged that my practice doesn't have the same regularity.  What do such self deprecating thoughts serve, other than to further drive ourselves out of alignment?  Compassion my friends.  You have to have it, for others certainly, but for yourself first.  


Without that self compassion, you get stuck in the self perpetuated cycle of beating yourself up.  It's okay that you haven't made kala in a while.  It's okay that you can't remember the last time you made Ha prayer. It's okay because you are remembering now.  You took your deep, cleansing belly breath.  You are starting over.  Maybe this is the time that it sticks, maybe not.  Over thinking that doesn't help.  Just be in the moment.  Make kala with everything you have in this moment.  Align your souls fully, being totally present in what you are doing.  If you have a hard time doing that?  I will sound like a broken record at this point, but that's okay.  


Being in the moment takes a lot of practice.  We are programed in our culture to disassociate, to be out of the moment.  But that is what Feri is about, breaking our programming to become our True Selves.  To come out the other side a strong and powerful witch.  And when you are out of the moment?  Out of alignment?  Does that mean you stopped being a strong and powerful witch?  Nope, it just means you forgot.  


Remember and breathe my friends.
Be Blessed.