Rose about an hour before the alarm went off again today. My wife commented that she would be concerned if it wasn't for the fact that I have been falling asleep so early every night. I don't understand the sudden shift in my internal clock, but I am grateful for it. I have been truly enjoying my early mornings alone. The chill in the air, watching the sky go from black to all of the beautiful hues of the early morning light, the stillness. I did some great trance work, did some qigong, aligned my souls, made kala. I know I touched on this before, but it is of great importance for me right now, so I will touch on it again. The difference for me this time is that the work is not forced. The flow is right, this is what I will without having to force that will upon myself. It takes the strain off the work, the sense of obligation, it lets the work just simply be what it needs to be.
The Divine Twins seem to be a major focus of my practice right now as I see them everywhere. The polarity yet resonance; the conflict yet harmony; the pull yet push; the paradox of dualism. My work with Freya and Freyr has been helping achieve a better balance of these forces in myself (There are some lines of Feri that view them as another incarnation of the Divine Twins, a view that I personally hold to be true). I have felt very called to work with her for some time, yet when I would approach him he would be cold, so I assumed that meant I was to be her priest alone. He and I find that very amusing now.
I think at that point he sensed that I wasn't ready, that I was so closed off from those parts of myself that are him, that he just let me be. Or maybe I pushed him away for those reasons, I don't know to be honest. But that has changed. Since Con I have felt him strongly, and done some very powerful trance work with him. I have felt the hunter stir within me, and rather than detract from my work with Freya, it has made it stronger. To take it out of the realm of deity, its like I am finally cultivating my yang energy in a positive way, so that the resonance between yin and yang can sing aloud.
But yes, for me they are everywhere. My work with the Iron and Pearl pentacles have become an exercise of the Twins. I run them separately, and feel them pull toward each other in my body like iron to a magnet. When they touch, they join in a flash of peacock blue light into the Copper Decagram which takes seat in my heart. It's a really beautiful experience. When I did kala this morning after that, I sensed the twins in the energy I put in the glass, swimming together like two fish playing, then as a shark chasing a minnow, then back to the two fish playing.
What does it all mean? I have ideas, but they aren't concrete. For now, I am just going with the flow, loving the creative inspiration it has sparked in me, and enjoying the ride.