Monday, June 6, 2011

Starting over

Take a deep breath.  Deep into your belly, then exhale twice as long as you inhaled.

A simple reminder, but possibly the most important thing we do.  Not just breathing (although that is important too of course), but the deep, cleansing breath.  The most important thing, yet the easiest thing to forget.  So what do you do when you forget?  Start over.  How do you start over?  See line 1, rinse and repeat.  

We all fall away from our practice from time to time.  I fall away quite a bit more than I like, but that is part of my journey, something I still need to figure out, and that's okay.  Last night, I remembered to start over.  It's the exact same technique you use when your mind drifts during a meditation session, accept the drift, notice it without judgement, and begin again.  But there was a huge key in that technique which is incredibly difficult, which is the noticing without judgement.  

I think it's in our nature to berate ourselves for our perceived failures.  I have touched on this concept before.  We need to have compassion for ourselves.  We need to not judge ourselves based on our perception of others.  For me, it is very easy to read the blog posts of some long time Feri initiates and feel discouraged that my practice doesn't have the same regularity.  What do such self deprecating thoughts serve, other than to further drive ourselves out of alignment?  Compassion my friends.  You have to have it, for others certainly, but for yourself first.  

Without that self compassion, you get stuck in the self perpetuated cycle of beating yourself up.  It's okay that you haven't made kala in a while.  It's okay that you can't remember the last time you made Ha prayer. It's okay because you are remembering now.  You took your deep, cleansing belly breath.  You are starting over.  Maybe this is the time that it sticks, maybe not.  Over thinking that doesn't help.  Just be in the moment.  Make kala with everything you have in this moment.  Align your souls fully, being totally present in what you are doing.  If you have a hard time doing that?  I will sound like a broken record at this point, but that's okay.  

Being in the moment takes a lot of practice.  We are programed in our culture to disassociate, to be out of the moment.  But that is what Feri is about, breaking our programming to become our True Selves.  To come out the other side a strong and powerful witch.  And when you are out of the moment?  Out of alignment?  Does that mean you stopped being a strong and powerful witch?  Nope, it just means you forgot.  

Remember and breathe my friends.
Be Blessed.

1 comment:

  1. Nice to read you again, Brother! We miss you in BlueRose class... I recently started my own blog too, and this entailed a bit of bravery from me, to come more out in the open with my Work and my true spiritual beliefs, but I felt it was time for me to at least pop my head outa the broom closet...
    And, this post of yours strongly resonates with my recent focus on meditation with Vipassana. Blessings